We grilled. It was good.

A couple of weeks ago the building behind my apartment started getting demolished. The view above is taken looking directly out of our kitchen window on the fourth floor, and was the scene found after day one of demolition.

The dismantling was done by hand for the top three floors of the five floor apartment building, each day showing a moderate but still impressive amount of progress. It was particularly impressive, because the few times I actually saw the workers working, they didn't appear to be doing much except pretending to work. But I digress. One day when I arrived home the remaining two floors had been levelled in one go by some heavy duty machinery. All that was left was a pile of rubble. That pile is now rapidly diminishing in size as the bricks and dirt are loaded up and shipped out to who knows where.

I have a fear that not much care has been taken to preserve the integrity of the materials used in the construction of the building, which my architect housemate tells me happened between 1890 and 1910. As the building was coming down I saw little thought being taken towards the beautiful old bricks, with the workmen rendering them almost useless for recycling by pulverising them with sledgehammers and later by driving over them with the aforementioned heavy machinery.

Same goes for the majestic wooden beams that made up the immovable frame of the building; workers took carelessly to them with chainsaws until they were in pieces small enough to carry and therefore too small to be used in any sort of meaningful construction projects in the future.

My housemate tells me that the energy that goes in to producing the materials for a building like the one that's just been demolished is equivalent to around 30 years of everyday energy usage by the future tenants of that building. I'm quite surprised that in a country like Denmark — usually one of the more sensible and sustainable societies in the world — such waste could be purportrated without someone with the means to do so stepping up and subsidizing the demolishers for the extra time it would take to dismantle the building carefully — a cost easily outweighed by the gains of then selling the materials at a premium to the vintage building restoration crowd.

The image below is all that's left, and soon there will be nothing. But there is a plus side to this whole incident — the space left by the building will be turned into a green courtyard for the inhabitants of the surrounding buildings to enjoy. A refreshing development when more often than not in the rest of the world it happens the other way around, where green areas are replaced by buildings.

His post is available here, so in the same vein, this post recaps the last few months of my life, so that one day I can come back and read it and remember what happened.

It’s at this point that I’d like to add a disclaimer aimed at my close friends and family that there may be some themes and language that out of context may appear shocking, out of character or even disturbing. I’d prefer to let the piece stand as it is without having to explain myself, — after all, I’m writing it for myself — but I’m willing to try to explain things further to you personally if you are truly troubled by anything here. It’s really hard for me to put something like this out in this manner, but it’s something I feel I need to do to process the last few months. Here goes.

Depression / “I want to see other girls” / I’m sorry / “I deserve better than this” / Break up / Looking for a place / New place / “Actually, I’m moving in this weekend” / Tobias / Depression / Out / Dyrehaven / “Food and beers with Kristian on Wednesday” / Dyrehaven / Swedish band / Norwegian school girls / Leaving tomorrow / Datarock / CPH Skatepark / Dyrehaven / Sønder Boulevard / “I really wanted to fuck that girl” / Going home / “Fuck off!”.

Berlin with Thor / Jean-mi move-in / Cheap beer / Sushi / Out / Wienerstraße / Veggie burgers / Görlitzer Park / Badeschiff / Rum and ginger ale / Bad stuff / Edgy bike ride / Line at Bar 25 / “We could go to Berghain?” / Berghain / Animal sounds/ Turkish market / More veggie burgers / More Badeschiff / Planet Earth / Jean is sick / Kreuzbergstraße / Mini-golf / Back to CPH.

Anne’s birthday / Don’t cry / “It’s weird, isn’t it?” / Died Young, Stayed Pretty premiere / Concert at Drone / Home early / Thomas’s Office warming / “Hello” / Columbian / “That’s a nice name” / OK / “Maybe you could call me?” / Gardening at Kristian’s / “Maybe we should smoke some?” / Not feeling it / “Yeah, I feel it” / Is this real life? / “Jeg fryser min bryster” / Good night.

Plant NYC / Iceland / iPad / Diner / Apple Store / Central Park / Subway / Yankee Stadium / Baseball / Beer / Hotdogs / Some sun / Empire State Building / 99% / Lamb shank / 99% again / “What’s your background?” / Shopping in SoHo / Williamsburg / Tom and Bonnie / Sand on the floor / Celtics / “Lemon, Lime & Bitters” / Venezuelan restaurant / Early flight / Not long enough / Japanese bar / Dancing on tables / Light fixture hat / Exit through the gift shop / Williamsburg again / Bloody Mary’s / B & H / Hotdog / MoMA / The artist is present / Marina Abramovic / Nudity / Suffering / Amazing / Mexican burritos / Portraits / Delayed / Hive at 55 / Media / Interviews / Tired / Wrestle at the airport / Hustle / Flight / Home / Sleep.

Dyrehaven / “Fix jacket with Anders and Karen” / Records / Dinner with Kristian, Cecilie and Niels / Party at Regensen / Dinner with Stine / Stop crying / Shattered / Hollow / “I’m sorry, you deserved better” / Failure / Drone / L#2 / Dancing / L#1 / Dancing / Kissing / Dancing / Kissing / “I respect that” / Dyrehaven / Kidu Launch / Kulby / “She’s got issues” / Drone again / Arcade Fire on the air conditioning ducts / “Maybe I could cook for you” / Basketball / Frederiksberg Park / L#1’s place / Breakfast at Tiffany’s.

Dyrehaven / Dybbolsgade / Whiskey / L#2 and friends / Whiskey / Blackout / Can’t eat it / Blackout / Staircase / Where’s my stuff? / 11am / Haircut / Flowers / McDonalds / 2pm / Bed / 50’s party / Suit / Cocktails / Dancing / “To be honest, I wouldn’t be much fun” / K#1 / Monday / “You started it” / Dyrehaven with K#1 / Cafe uden navn with K#1 / Understedet with K#1 / “I’d kind of like to take you home with me” / Tears / Amagerbank / “Let me know when you’re home safe” / Skt Hans with K#1 / “I’m going to do this differently” / Dyrehaven / Bakken / Fælledparken with K#1 / Sunshine / Beers / Home with K#1.

Beers with L#2 / Music for L#2 / I’m sorry, it’s nothing personal / Sushi and beers with Dan and Thomas / Cafe uden navn / Plant party / Beer / Chris / Dan / L#2 and friend / Photos / Dancing / “Maybe we should leave” / Fallen asleep / Wet / “Mette & Anders’ Kandidatfest” / Banter with Anne / Tired / Bop / 7 inch DJ set / First dancers / Dancing / Home / Depression.

The Drums / Flamboyant / Tired / Distortion party in Nørrebro / Skt Hans Torv / Thomas and Thor / Crowded / Anne, Cecilie and Kristian / Møllegade / Kongens Have / Beer / Sun / Enghaveplads / Pirate man drinking elephant beer / Caravans / Tank / “I know it was weird last time” / “She wants to fuck” / Carlsberg / Queue / Can’t be bothered / What else / A / “I used to live in Annadale” / “You’re coming with me” / 18 / Queue / “I can’t find my friend” / Dancing / Lost / Dancing / “OK” / Found / Awkward / Dancing with A / “Is she a new one?” / Kissing / Sunrise / A’s place / Photos / “Hvorfor?” / “Because I’ve had a lot to drink and I’m old” / Glass on the streets / Dyrehaven / Running in to A / Dybbolsgade / Worse stuff / Chris’s bike crash / Spurting, not dripping / Carlsberg / Dan / Thor / Waiting at the bar forever / Beer / Jagermeister / Gagging / Jens on crutches / Michael Mayer in the silo / Home.

Dinner with Stine / Content / World Cup / First Friday in a long time / Bloomsday / England vs. USA / Fumble / Boutique Liza / “Now you’re annoying me, so I’m leaving” / Party on H.C. Andersen’s Boulevard / Warm Beer / Thor leaving / Dancing / K#2 / “I’ve never been asked before” / Pink bike / Home with K#2 / 6.30am / Sleep / 9am / Diabetes / No orange juice / “Nice to meet you” / Australia vs. Germany / Replying to Harry / Today.

There is a cemetary across the street from my apartment. So I took photos in it. These are those.

The title of the video claimed that it was a “rare” version, since it featured the members of the band performing some sort of quasi-related pantomime in which I took zero interest. This was opposed to the more widely known version which probably features actors or animations performing a similar quasi-related pantomime in which I also have no interest. The point is, this version was apparently rare. Which got me thinking about the concept of rarity, and how it relates to our time.

It used to be that something rare was something that existed in very small quantities. An object, artefact, book, whatever it may be. Then mass media came along, and that changed slightly — rare now meant that a piece of media had only been shown a limited number of places or a limited amount of times and records of it were scarce. But it was still rare, hard to obtain, elevated in status because of this.

Now there is an Internet. There is nothing rare on this Internet. The only limiting factor is a person’s ability to find something. But once something is on this Internet, it is there forever, available always. In most cases, even if you try to remove something from this Internet you won’t be able to. Search engines search and archiving services archive so that countless copies of your thing remain available to anyone willing to look for them. Sure, that process of scouring is by no means easy, but once found, this thing is infinitely viewable, linkable, shareable. There are no limits on how long it will remain available or how many people can see it before it vanishes into the ether. It’s there forever.

The closest thing to rarity we have now is view count, but it’s orders of magnitude less meaningful. Something that has been seen only a few times isn’t rare. In fact it can be only 3 things — new, hidden or boring. But not rare. Rarity is scarcity, and there are no limitations on this Internet. Whether this is a bad thing or not I’m not smart enough to know, but it feels like it’s important. If anyone can see, experience, consume the same thing I can, what makes it special? Where is that proud moment or tinge of jealousy or bragging going to come from if everything is ubiquitous? Perhaps the word rare should never have strayed from the physical world into the virtual. How can you create exclusivity on a world wide web?

…blah blah blah New York City blah blah blah greatest city in the world blah blah blah some photos I took.

I did a bit of shooting and filming today with my mate Dan at the Royal Copenhagen Skatepark and chose some of the best shots to post up here. I decided to pick based on their photographic composition this time around, as I plan to do a few more sessions in the future to try and showcase a bit more of the best action.

One of my favourite films is the adaptation of Bret Easton Ellis’ equally great book American Psycho. It’s a morbid fascination to be sure, but honestly the blood and gore have little to do with my enjoyment of the movie — if anything they’re a distraction. The real highlight is the infinitely memorable dialog, particularly that stemming from Christian Bale’s completely over the top portrayal of lead character Patrick Bateman. None of this has anything to do with my point, but my teachers always told me that there should be a beginning, middle and end in any piece of writing. So that was the beginning.

One particular sequence in the film (taken from IMDB) goes something like this:

Patrick Bateman: Do you know what Ed Gein said about women?
David Van Patten: The maitre 'd at Canal Bar?
Patrick Bateman: No, serial killer, Wisconsin, the '50s.
Craig McDermott: So what did he say?
Patrick Bateman: "When I see a pretty girl walking down the street, I think two things. One part wants me to take her out, talk to her, be real nice and sweet and treat her right."
David Van Patten: And what did the other part think?
Patrick Bateman: "What her head would look like on a stick... ”

Despite being misattributed to Ed Gein (it was apparently made by another serial killer, Edmund Kemper), the quote — while sickening — is an apt metaphor for how I feel about the concept of time. Part of me wants to go out and use it wisely; see the wonders of the world; meet new people; have amazing experiences; fall in love; do crazy things. The other part wants to stay home, watch hour after endless hour of crap film and television, endlessly refresh the same 4 websites, and occasionally look at pictures of girls with no clothes on. This is the middle, by the way.

And here is where I would usually put the ending. In this case however, I’m so disturbed and confused about what I put in the middle that I’m just going to leave it blank and have a cup of tea instead.

Ok, I had a cup of tea and thought about it. The point — if forced to make one, if only to placate the members of my family that are simultaneously reading this and calling the authorities — is that I’m trying to encourage that good, productive, exciting side, but that the boring, serial time waster side is a powerful force, and that perhaps acknowledging it head-on is a good way of overcoming it. There. An ending. Are you happy now, 9th grade history teacher Mrs. Stasiukynas?

I know myself well enough now, to know that I’ll likely forget the specifics of this article within a few days, the drive I felt while writing it, how good it made me feel to craft something, and that I should keep doing that so as too keep feeling that. And to do it often. But each time I run this cycle going from boredom and frustration, to doing something about it and getting motivated, to getting complacent and slipping back into inactivity, I feel like I learn more about how to prolong the good times and curb the shitty times just that little bit more. Things like scheduling blocks of time to use my brain creatively, or simple things like just deleting those fucking links to time killing sites that host almost no stimulating content whatsoever from my browser.

The other side of the coin is that it looks so simple on paper, yet in reality a tiny percentage of people actually ever figure this all out practically. For whatever reason, the vast majority of people live an entirely unremarkable life. It’s almost as if there is a club for people that have “made it” in terms of satisfaction with their lives. Just being content and confident in the person they are, and using that confidence as a springboard to creating something in their area of interest, and in doing so further boosting their confidence in some sort of self-esteem rich get self-esteem richer scenario. I want to be in that club, but statistically speaking, I don’t have a chance.

So what’s the answer? I still don’t have one myself, but it’s not for lack of ideas. I’m interested in a lot of things: Web and technology culture, general cultural and historical studies, music, bikes, design, photography, basketball, so on, so forth. Increasingly though I’ve noticed a common thread, and I’m hoping to develop it further. It’s that in all the above areas, the things that I find myself thinking about most are the “meta” aspects. With technology and the web, it’s not that I’m so interested in the products or services or strategies being spoken about, but the difference in opinions and approaches and schools of thought on a given subject. With bikes, it’s not the machines and their components themselves, but the culture around the bicycle, the differences between public perception of them as a part of the landscape, and the stark contrast between how much, and what kind of attention they’re given by people in a country like Denmark to people in Australia/UK/USA. With basketball, I will rarely watch a game, yet will regularly check in on the goings on of the teams’ back offices, and the fortunes of those teams based on the culture they cultivate in their club. The common thread then, is that perhaps there’s a way to tap into that interest in the underlying layer of a given topic, and to analyse it at that very fundamental root.

At a basic level, I’m interested in the reason that I find a topic, opinion, something interesting. Why is it that I find myself nodding my head in agreement with person A and shaking that same head in incredulity at person B. What is it about person A’s character, upbringing, point of view that speaks to me, holds my interest, speaks loud enough to be heard above the rest of the clatter?

This is what I hope to find out. It will happen slowly, this I know. There will be times when progress will be measured in negatives. But hopefully, after each cycle I come out the other side slightly more enlightened as to what it is I want to be doing and saying, and how I can make that a more substantial part of my life.

I returned yesterday from a fantastic weekend in and around a cottage in the middle of a Swedish forest, where a few friends and I shared plenty of food, wine and above all silliness. If only we could have spent another week or so. I've chosen a few portraits of those involved, as well as a couple of action shots from the aforementioned silliness. Just be glad I spared you the photographic evidence of my nude lap of the cottage wearing only moon boots to protect me from the half metre of snow.